Can You Adjust My Kid Who Can't Sit Still? A Cary, NC Pediatric Chiropractor Explains
If you're a parent in Cary, NC considering chiropractic care for your child with ADHD, autism, sensory processing disorder, or anxiety, you've probably thought:
"My child can't even sit still for a haircut. How could they possibly handle a chiropractic adjustment?"
"She has a complete meltdown when the doctor tries to examine her. Won't chiropractic be even worse?"
"He doesn't like being touched by anyone outside our family. I can't imagine bringing him to a chiropractor."
These concerns are completely valid and a question we hear weekly.
Why Kids Who Resist Touch Often Need Chiropractic Care Most
When a child can't sit still, melts down during medical exams, or resists physical touch from healthcare providers, parents often assume it's a behavioral issue or "just their personality." But as pediatric chiropractors specializing in neurologically-based care, we see something different: a nervous system stuck in high alert.
Their Nervous System Is in Survival Mode
Children who struggle with being touched or sitting still typically have nervous systems operating in a chronic state of sympathetic dominance, what we call "fight or flight" mode.
Their brainstem and autonomic nervous system are constantly scanning for threats, unable to downregulate into a calm, safe state. This isn't a choice or a behavior problem. It's a nervous system function problem.
Common signs your child's system is in high alert:
Constant movement, inability to sit still or settle
Extreme resistance to touch, especially from strangers
Heightened startle response
Difficulty with transitions
Emotional dysregulation and quick meltdowns
Hypervigilance and scanning behaviors
Sleep struggles
Digestive issues (constipation, stomach aches)
What Puts the Nervous System in High Alert?
Several factors can shift a child's nervous system into this protective state:
Birth Trauma: Difficult deliveries, vacuum or forceps assistance, C-sections, shoulder dystocia, or prolonged labor can create stress in the upper cervical spine and brainstem - the exact area that regulates the nervous system's state.
Falls and Injuries: Learning to walk involves hundreds of falls. While most are minor, accumulated stress adds up, particularly in the upper neck.
Emotional Stress: Chronic stress, medical procedures, hospitalizations, or family stress all impact nervous system regulation.
Upper Cervical Misalignment: When the top two bones of the spine (C1 and C2) experience misalignment, they create mechanical and neurological stress right where the brainstem sits - disrupting the nervous system's ability to shift out of survival mode.
The Cycle That Keeps Them Stuck
A child whose nervous system is stuck in high alert desperately needs intervention to help them regulate - but their dysregulated state makes them resist the very help they need. They can't access the part of their brain that allows them to feel safe, trust others, and accept help. It's a protective mechanism that made sense at some point but now keeps them trapped. This is exactly why traditional medical approaches often fail with these kids. When providers expect children to "just cooperate," they're asking for something the child's nervous system literally cannot provide.
Our Trauma-Informed Approach: Meeting Kids Where They Are
At Harmony Family Chiropractic in Cary, we use a trauma-informed, nervous system-first approach specifically designed for children who struggle with traditional healthcare settings.
1. We Go at Your Child's Pace
There is no timeline or expectation for how your child "should" behave during appointments. Some children are ready for care on day one. Others need several visits just to feel comfortable in the space.
Both are completely normal and acceptable.
We build trust first, care second. This might mean:
Spending the first visit in the play area vs adjustment room
Letting your child explore our equipment at their own pace
Talking about what we do without any pressure to participate
Celebrating small wins like entering the room or touching the adjustment table
2. We Adjust Kids Where They're Comfortable
Forget the image of lying perfectly still on a table. We meet kids where they are:
In a parent's lap: Many children feel safest in mom or dad's arms, so that's where we adjust them
While playing: We can adjust while your child plays with toys, watches videos, or engages with sensory tools
Standing or moving: If your child needs to move, we work with that rather than against it
With comfort items: Stuffed animals, blankets, noise-canceling headphones - whatever helps them feel safe
Our adjustments are extremely gentle - often compared to the pressure you'd use to check a tomato for ripeness. There's no twisting, popping, or cracking, especially with pediatric patients.
3. We're Trained in Nervous System Regulation
Our team has advanced training in:
Polyvagal theory and nervous system states
Trauma-informed care principles
Pediatric neurodevelopment
Sensory processing challenges
Working with children with ADHD, autism, and anxiety
We understand that resistance, avoidance, and meltdowns aren't defiance - they're nervous system responses. We never take it personally, never force cooperation, and never make your child feel like they're doing something wrong.
4. We Help Parents Understand What's Happening
Many parents feel frustrated, embarrassed, or defeated when their child struggles in healthcare settings. We help you understand:
Why your child responds the way they do
What their nervous system is communicating
How nervous system based care can help shift them out of survival mode
What changes to look for as their system regulates
How to support their nervous system at home
What Parents in Cary Notice After Care Begins
Even though children who resist touch and can't sit still often need more time to warm up to care, once their nervous system begins to regulate, parents report remarkable changes:
Immediate Session Changes
Child becomes calmer and more settled during appointments
Increased willingness to be touched and examined
Better cooperation without force or coercion
Sometimes fall asleep during or immediately after adjustments (sign of parasympathetic activation)
At-Home Improvements
Improved ability to sit still and focus
Better emotional regulation and fewer meltdowns
Increased tolerance for transitions and new situations
Improved sleep quality and duration
Reduced anxiety and hypervigilance
More willingness to accept help from teachers, therapists, and caregivers
Better social interactions with peers
Decreased sensory sensitivities
One mom recently shared:
"My son had never let a doctor examine him without a complete meltdown. I was terrified to try chiropractic. But Dr. Chris let him play with toys during the entire first visit without pressure or expectations. By visit three, he was climbing onto the table himself. Now, four months later, he actually asks when his next appointment is. His teachers say he's a different child… calmer, more focused, and able to accept help. I honestly didn't think this was possible."
The Science Behind Why Chiropractic Helps
You might be wondering, how can adjusting the spine help a child who can't sit still or struggles with touch?
The answer lies in the the spine's relationship to the brainstem (specifically the upper cervical) and autonomic nervous system.
The Upper Cervical-Brainstem Connection
The atlas (C1) and axis (C2) vertebrae sit at the very top of the spine, creating a protective ring around the brainstem. The brainstem houses critical centers that regulate:
Autonomic nervous system function (the shift between fight/flight and rest/digest)
Sensory processing (filtering and interpreting sensory input)
Emotional regulation (responding appropriately to stimuli)
Motor control (coordinated movement and posture)
When these vertebrae experience misalignment or dysfunction, often from birth trauma or accumulated falls, they create mechanical stress and neurological interference right where nervous system regulation happens.
This interference keeps the nervous system locked in sympathetic dominance, unable to access the calming parasympathetic state that allows children to feel safe, sit still, and accept touch.
Addressing Common Parent Concerns
"What if my child has a complete meltdown?"
That's okay. We've seen it before, we'll see it again, and it doesn't mean your child can't receive care. Meltdowns are communication, they tell us where your child's nervous system is at that moment. We adjust our approach accordingly and never force anything.
"My child has autism, can you still help?"
Absolutely. We work with many children on the autism spectrum and understand their unique sensory needs, communication styles, and nervous system patterns. Many of our most dramatic success stories involve children with autism whose families were told "nothing can be done."
"What if they need to move around during the adjustment?"
Movement is fine. We've adjusted kids while they're playing with tablets, dancing, sitting, standing, and walking around the room. The adjustment itself takes only minutes, we just need brief moments of positioning.